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(6,972,491)
 













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 New FCC rules require that certain captioned programs broadcast on television be captioned when made available for streaming online. As we evaluate various technical options for presenting such captions across the numerous platforms and devices on which our broadcast content is available, we are currently using an open caption method to best ensure that our captions are available to all viewers, regardless what kind of computer, tablet or smartphone they watch us with. We continue to work on improving the captioning platform, including the possibility of offering viewers a way to turn captions off. In today’s regulatory environment, however, we believe our current approach will add value for many viewers – including those unaccustomed to captions. It will make it easier to enjoy our stream on a noisy train or in a cubicle at work, if a viewer cannot use headphones or speakers.

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December 13, 2012, 5:00 AM

The LinkedIn Prostitution Ring

Originally posted 2010-10-12 11:04:37.
BREAKING NEWS: Attorney Generals from all 50 states, fresh off their high of censoring first amendment rights by shutting down the Adult Services section of Craigslist.org have now set their sights on a new den of iniquity and filth that is polluting the internet by targeting two new and particularly vile breeds of scum: The LinkedIn Prostitute and The LinkedIn Pimp.
Pimps and whores (or “escort”, “call girl”…whatever is more generally accepted these days) no longer just lurk on street corners or in the back pages of Metro Times…some of them have evolved.  Some of them have hit the professional world of LinkedIn.com.
Some of them…may already be in your connections.
Now that I’ve got your attention with a salacious lead-in (hey, I’ve been learning writing technique from TMZ.com…sue me), I guess I should be up front and tell you that I’m not talking about people in the sex trade.  No, if that were the case, I’m pretty sure that the fine folks over at the Fox2 Problem Solvers would have long since beaten me to the punch on this story.  No, I’m talking about something that was just recently brought to my attention…and still has me a little shocked, to be honest…people are buying and selling LinkedIn.com connections.
I know, I know – you’re probably like me, and sitting there saying “No way, dude.  You’re completely making that up.”
I really wish I were, but it’s true.  It’s really happening.  There are entire websites dedicated to it, and I’ve recently chatted with a few folks who didn’t know any better and fell victim to these predators.  And make no mistake – they’re predators.  Like any good predator, they single out and target the weak in order to make their kill.  In this case, “the weak” are those who only have a few direct connections and are desperate for more.  Whether it’s because they’re looking for a new job, or they’re looking to hire someone, or they’ve just started their LinkedIn account, or they’ve been to one of Social Networking Guy’s stupid classes and they were told this was a good idea because they’re told that nobody will take them seriously if they don’t have many connections and they need to grow them in any way possible…it doesn’t matter how they wound up in this position.  What matters is that the desperate have been screwed yet again by someone taking advantage of them.
I can’t even really believe that I have to hammer this point home yet again: there are no shortcuts to building your network.  None.  Not any.  There’s a reason why more than one of our Ten Commandments of Networking focus in on this point – because it’s really, really important that you understand it.  Your network is probably one of the most valuable things that you will ever develop over the course of your career – in fact some would argue that it is the most important, because a solid network with great connections can help you overcome just about anything.
So, honestly, because we scream this from the rooftops on a daily basis…it floors us that there are still people out there that think that for just $9.99 they’ll suddenly have an awesome network at their disposal. And yep, that’s the asking price, $9.99.  How do I know this?  I know it because Matt Brooks (that’s matt@mattbrooks.com …feel free to drop him a note and tell him how you feel!) is the Admin, Technical and Billing contact for a website named “BuyLinkedInConnections!”, which lists this company:
SARBRO Solutions
20631 Ventura Blvd., Suite 205
Woodland Hills, California 91364
United States
(818) 654-9711  <— feel free to give them a call to tell them how you feel!

…as the folks that are behind the site that sells LinkedIn.com connections for $9.99.
Now here’s the part that really has me all sorts of pissed off about them: they completely and horribly mislead people with their website.  Their site (and I’m deliberately not linking to it, just so we’re clear – they will not get a single click-through or ounce of web exposure directly from this entry) is full of stories about how great LinkedIn.com is.  How powerful it is.  How essential it is.  And even includes testimonials from people like an Oracle CFO about how a LinkedIn profile helped them find a job.  Or how a job seeker found a job because of a connection in their network.  All of that’s great, but it has nothing to do with the piece of crap $9.99 connections that these idiots are selling.  We’ve already told you that LinkedIn Is Not A Video Game and so it’s not like there’s some mythical “high score” that you can suddenly achieve to become influential.
These are actually the claims that they make on their site.  Seriously.  $9.99, and this is what they want you to believe becomes true.
Let’s go ahead and run those down one by one:
  1. Fire your boss, get off the coach, and start your new dream job faster than ever before
    1. Please, for the sake of everything good in life…do not quit your job because you spent $9.99 on this.
    2. I can only hope that they mean “get off the couch” and that “coach” is a typo.   If you’re sleeping with your career coach, don’t stop on our account.
    3. Unless your new dream job is MLM Sales, this cannot possibly help.
  2. Put an end to cold calling, useless advertisements, and impersonal connections and start closing a landslide of new deals
    1. Riiiiiiiiiiight.  Because nothing says “close, personal collection” like “I bought your name”.
    2. And can someone explain to me how this is any different from cold calling?  Isn’t part of cold calling when you buy a list of names and start randomly calling on them?  Isn’t it?
  3. Become an instant rockstar in your field by connecting to more people than everyone else
    1. Again: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.  Anyone who thinks you’re a “rockstar” because of the number of connections you have…yeah, you guessed it.  Send ‘em to LinkedIn Is Not A Video Game
    2. Buying a connection for someone is not “connecting” with them.  Okay, maybe technically it is, but you get what I mean.
  4. Leverage the power of an unlimited Rolodex to instantly contact every decision maker in your industry
    1. A rolodex?  Did they honestly just make reference to a friggin’ rolodex?!  Do I even need to say anything more here?
    2. I’m going to anyway – there is absolutely no way in hell that you’re getting the top actual decision makers in your industry through this.  Well, unless you’re in MLM.
  5. Make yourself an indispensible asset- be desired by employers, business partners, and clients alike by being the MVP of your business
    1. No you won’t.
    2. No you can’t.
Unbelievable.
I mean, seriously now.  I haven’t read or heard anything this patently full of nonsensical crap since the last time I was flipping through the back pages of a comic book.  And yeah, I was “that kid”.  I bought the Sea Monkeys.   I experienced the crushing blow of realizing they were nothing more than brine shrimp and would never be the magical creatures that they were advertised to be.  I frantically clipped out the ad for the X-Ray specs, found an envelope, licked a stamp, and waited an eternity for them to arrive.  Well, not really an “eternity”…but by the time they showed up five weeks later, I had come up with a million and one different plans to sneak a peak at Becky, the wonderful girl who lived two houses up from me and had recently changed from someone that I ran up behind on the playground and yanked her pigtails into that achingly wonderful state known as “coltish” – her legs had gotten longer, and was starting to get curves in all of the places that I had absolutely no idea why I found fascinating, but I did.
As I’m sure you know…none of them worked.  Not inviting her over and leering at her from another room.  Not staring at her from behind bushes.  Not any of them.  I couldn’t see through her shirt (and, in retrospect…really, based on the ad, why in the hell was I so interested in seeing her ribcage?  Man I was dumb…) or catch any glimpses of any forbidden flesh.  Nothing.  I had been swindled.
I was devastated.
But not too much longer later, after giving up on the glasses as an ultimate failure…a funny thing happened.  Becky and I got closer…shared our first kiss and a few other things…and let me tell you, those glasses were such a distant, long-forgotten memory…but in hindsight, a valuable lesson was learned.
There are no shortcuts to anything that really matters in life.  Even if they’d worked, those glasses had nothing on the real thing.
So here’s to you, Becky.  For, among other things, teaching me what the wise prophet Marvin Gaye sang – “Ain’t nothing like the real thing.”
I’ll give you a shout-out in the author’s notes of our upcoming book…



About Dave    

Dave Phillips is the geek that’s been pushed into management roles over the years, but still keeps his hands dirty so that he can translate from the board room to the server room and back. View all posts by Dave.


























4 Comments to The LinkedIn Prostitution Ring

  1. Ingo Rautenberg on said:
    Geez. If you want influence peddling, ya just gotta go to Washington, DC. Of course, even then you’ll need to have actual connections to people you’ve actually met. Why do so many people feel the lazy, quick and easy way is ‘IT’? Suckers! Who would fall for that anyway — oh, nevermind — I just found out about this really cool opportunity in Multilevel Network Marketing and I only need to do a “buy in” for $100 — Whadaya think?
  2. Pingback: Detroitnet.org Pink Slip Party Next Week! Updates and Jobs for October 14, 2010 | DetroitNet.org
  3. Pingback: Detroitnet.org Updates and Jobs for November 11, 2010 | DetroitNet.org
  4. Pingback: Game Theory and Networking 101 | DetroitNet.org
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Dear Mark Eberle,


Did you know that the President of the 

United States, Barack Obama, and his 

Mafioso Administration view groups 

that seek to "educate about the US 

Constitution" or "want to make America

 a better place" as being a threat? Did 


you know that Obama has such 

disdain for the Constitution that 

within his administration any and all 


efforts were made to not only protect 

him from groups that disagreed with his

 inherent Marxist philosophy and 

agenda, but to also attack, target

and 

destroy groups that are simply 

American loving patriots who stand 


for the Constitution?

IF THIS IS NOT TYRANNY, THEN 

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS????  




dangerous 

corruption? The actions of President 

Obama and his minions are Nixonian,

 to put it mildly. The corruption coming 

from this administration makes the 


antics of Nixon's WaterGate look like

 child's play. 


As all wanna-be dictators before 

him, Barack has demonstrated that 

he will go to any and all lengths to 

destroy society as we know it,attack 

freedom, and exert his twisted, 

dangerous will upon his ‘servants’. He 

is a classic Alinskyite and has followed 


the steps to take down society almost 


to a T. His one fault…..doing too much

too fast.


The Obama Administration is 

embroiled in three incredible, 

unconstitutional scandals at one time.

  1. The Benghazi cover-up.
  2. The monitoring and reading of Associated Press communications.
  3. Using the IRS to target and intimidate tea party groups.

Patriots, we MUST band together and

 defeat this man. Your children are 

depending on it. All future generations

 are depending on it. The very future 

of this republic and whether 

freedom will prevail demands it!
On Thursday, May 16th, Rep. Michele

 Bachmann will be holding a press 

conference with other elected officials 

as well as tea party leaders to address 

the Obama Regime’s use of the 

Internal Revenue Service to intimidate 

tea party groups. It will be in the 

House 

Triangle of the U.S. Capitol at 9:30 am.

 We must show our support.


TheTeaParty.net is one of the 


organizations on Obama’s hit list. We 

are sending the message that we will 

not be silenced. We will not shut up.

 We will not shut down. We will 

continue 

to fight for our freedom is too important

to give up!

Bachman Press Release
I know that times are tough. But, if you 

haven’t realized it yet, understand 

what 
this man is capable of. In Barack 

Obama, we do not have a president 

with a love for the United States of 

America and all that has made it the 

freest, most prosperous country in 

history. In Barack Obama, we have a

 Saul Alinsky believing Marxist with 


utter disdain for everything that 


made this country great.


He will stop at nothing to tear down 

our 

society. He will stop at nothing in 

attacking our freedom. He will stop at 

nothing to silence and stifle dissent to 

his far left, radical un-American 

agenda. Please. Help us continue on

in 

this battle for freedom with whatever 


you can give. We want to travel to 


Washington, D.C on Thursday to tell 

our story for it is one that must be 


heard. From the largest tea party 

organization to small ones in individual 

cities, President Obama’s 


Administration has gone on the 


attack. We must be well funded 


enough to not only withstand his 


attack, but to win this fight! You can 

make a difference with a donation of 

whatever you can afford. 


Blue Donate Here


Sincerely,

Todd Cefaratti

Freedom Organizer
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Dear Mark Eberle 

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The IRS has admitted it 


illegally targeted 


conservative groups for 


years. They’ve made it 


harder for conservatives to 



use the same free speech 


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organizations – has your 


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